Words to describe someone's personality, good and bad.

Affable is the everyday compliment, and one of the few in this list that is easy to say to the person’s face. It describes someone you can talk to on a first meeting without effort – the neighbor who makes the elevator ride pleasant.

It is a warm word with low stakes. Few people mind being called affable, and few are much moved by it either.

Magnanimous is generosity with a specific setting: the moment when gloating was on offer and was left on the table. The winner who praises the loser, the person proved right who lets it go.

It tends to be noticed by someone watching, because the point is the alternative. Without the temptation, it is just kindness.

Unflappable is calm treated as a trait. Part of why it is admired is that the calm usually looks effortless, so the person seems to be holding no tension at all, whatever is happening underneath.

It is a good word for the person you would want beside you when something goes wrong.

Droll is what you reach for when “funny” is the wrong size. The humor is quiet and slightly odd, and it often arrives a beat late – half the room laughs, the rest catch up.

It tends to be said with approval, and a raised eyebrow of its own. A loud comedian is rarely called droll.

Nice, quiet and rude are the shorthand. Affable, taciturn and brusque are the people.

Taciturn is quiet as a settled manner. It describes someone who says little by habit, not someone merely having a quiet day. Depending on context, it can sound neutral, approving or faintly critical.

The useful thing about it is what it leaves out. It does not say shy, and it does not say unfriendly.

Reticent is a reluctance to speak freely, especially about personal thoughts or affairs. It can concern one subject – a job they left, a family matter – but it does not imply that the person is talkative about everything else.

It is often the word of someone who has tried to open that topic and found the door shut.

Diffident is hesitation rooted in self-doubt. The person may have opinions and good ideas but hold them back because they are unsure how they will be received.

It usually reads as sympathetic rather than critical, describing a habit more than a flaw. Among the three, it is the one most likely to make a listener want to ask a follow-up question.

Taciturn is a habit of saying little, reticent is a reluctance to reveal, and diffident is a lack of confidence. Together they cover most of what “quiet” is doing in a sentence.

Brusque is short and abrupt, in a way that comes across as rude. It is often applied to people whose job puts them in a hurry, and it describes how the words landed rather than what was meant.

That gap is the interesting part. The coldness may not be intended, but it tends to be felt the same either way.

Obstinate is stubbornness that survives argument, evidence or persuasion. The person may have a reason; the word says their refusal to move now looks unreasonable.

That separates it from resolute or steadfast less by behavior than by judgment: those words approve of the firmness; obstinate does not.

Pedantic is the correction nobody needed. The detail is usually technically right, which is what makes the word sting: the fix serves the corrector more than the conversation.

It is normally said with real irritation, and more often about someone than to them.

Two-faced is the plainest word in the set, and it does not need a dictionary. It is friendly to your face and something else once you leave.

It tends to be said only after the gap between the two versions has actually been caught. Before that, it is a suspicion, and most people are careful about voicing those.

Suave is half compliment, half warning. The person is charming and smooth, and there is a faint question about whether the smoothness is sincere. Because of that, it can be said to a face, but it is worth a moment’s thought about how it will be heard.

Someone can be called suave with admiration, and the same word in a different tone is a quiet warning to keep a hand on your wallet.

Effusive is warmth expressed without much restraint: abundant praise, thanks or welcome. It can feel generous; when the response is much larger than the occasion, it can also make the listener unsure how to match it.

Ingenuous looks like a typo for ingenious, and is not one. It is not about being clever. It means so open and trusting that it does not occur to the person to hold anything back. It comes from Latin ingenuus, which meant, among other things, “frank, candid”.

It is usually read as innocent rather than foolish, though the line is thin. Its opposite is disingenuous, which was formed in the 1650s from dis-, “opposite of”, plus ingenuous – and means insincere, or only pretending to be candid.

The compliments with a catch are the useful ones. They describe a person and hint at how far to trust the first impression.